Good news: Steve Jobs is an arrogant prick, but healthy

Quincy Pince-Nez

July 26, 2008

Apple Inc News

Whatever... people can speculate all they want. Steve may or may not be sick. Apple will continue to sell lots of Macs, iPods and iPhones.

Joe Nocera from the New York Times got a little call from El Jobso after Monday's conference call. A typically (not weak) Jobs laid into the reporter and told him all of the details...off the record. No, it isn't cancer. No, it isn't life threatening. The reporter asks why he can't tell the shareholders.

On Thursday afternoon, several hours after I’d gotten my final “Steve’s health is a private matter” — and much to my amazement — Mr. Jobs called me. “This is Steve Jobs,” he began. “You think I’m an arrogant [expletive] who thinks he’s above the law, and I think you’re a slime bucket who gets most of his facts wrong.” After that rather arresting opening, he went on to say that he would give me some details about his recent health problems, but only if I would agree to keep them off the record. I tried to argue him out of it, but he said he wouldn’t talk if I insisted on an on-the-record conversation. So I agreed.

Because the conversation was off the record, I cannot disclose what Mr. Jobs told me. Suffice it to say that I didn’t hear anything that contradicted the reporting that John Markoff and I did this week. While his health problems amounted to a good deal more than “a common bug,” they weren’t life-threatening and he doesn’t have a recurrence of cancer. After he hung up the phone, it occurred to me that I had just been handed, by Mr. Jobs himself, the very information he was refusing to share with the shareholders who have entrusted him with their money.

You would think he’d want them to know before me. But apparently not.

Will it set a bad precedence? Is it embarassing? Is it anyone's damned business? All good questions....

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Comments (26)

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:08am

hmm, I kinda don't believe this report. Steve Jobs reached out to 9 to 5 Mac, instead of to 2 million other reporters, uh sure.

terry (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:40am

when i taught college journalism i thought it was as important to teach how to CONSUME news as how to produce it. looks like we need more of that sort of education.

Sascha (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:12am

dear poster above: has it occured to you that 9to5 wrote about an article by a nytimes reporter?

Moose (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:13am

NY Times, not 9to5 Mac. Durururur

David Rockoff (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:18am

This report is from Joe Nocera of the New York Times, not 9to5Mac...

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:30am

Could this be sarcasm and humor???

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:37am

he has aids. from all the bareback sticking he did to everyone with the iphones he got aids from it.

terry (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 8:42am

i'm sure glad you could be here with us, contributing to the conversation....

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 27, 2008 - 1:17pm

What a vile, stupid, and insensitive attempt at a joke; AIDS from all the 'bareback sticking' is hardly humorous and is certainly not clever. Given the way you write, it is barely even English.

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 9:01am

Yes, my mistake. Serves me right for reading before coffee.

Now, let's carry on without more comments on how it is from NY Times and I was a moron :)

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 9:07am

You're still a moron.

Twit (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 10:28am

Sounds like hemorrhoidal surgery with complications of infection giving him the worn, thin, pre-emaciation look. Maybe post chemo surgery for gastric ulcers.

Unless Steve is unable to work the exact diagnosis is no one's business but his.

The real issue here is Apple acting like 1970's Soviet Russia claiming that Steve had a "common bug". Soviet leaders used to disappear from sight for months and then drop dread from "a cold".

Apple public relations and investor relations ought to pull their heads from their lower GI tract and come up with statements to share holders that are something better than outright lies.

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 12:40pm

what i think is impressive, is the level of vigilance to which this great nation of ours has progressed... vigilance that is self-serving, and heartless. let's say for shnicks and giggles, that the man is ill... well, being ill, he managed to take his company through the global launch of 3 monumental product/platform components in that state (the jury is apparently still out on MobileMe). But during the whole process, the entire focus has been on the bottom-line, and what this means for shareholders and business. Nevermind that this could be a potentially sh*tty time for a dedicated, deft, and deliriously brilliant person who still manages to work hard to deliver top-notch products for us all.

In this age, I think even Steve Jobs deserves a little bit of privacy. During a time when the computer and tech market is not such a stellar performer, Apple is solid (and some would say shining). And though they always manage to let us fans down here and there in minor ways, I doubt we can have a real argument about the superiority of their products. Not to mention how much money this one man, and the changes he has made in the company, has made for those same shareholders in the last decade. In that context, if Jobso wanted to come out on stage and say, "I'm not sick, I just need a vacation. And after the 3G roll-out is complete, I'm taking off to the French Riviera until September" I think we should all applaud him for his marvelous freakin' efforts, and let him do whatever he wants. Apple is a HUGE company, with a large talent pool. And if Jobs takes a day off, or two, or a year, I think Apple will be alright. And by the looks of it, they'll definitely be better off than Microsoft.

Give the guy a break. Or, heck, let's just all start speculating on each other's health every time, all the time. Maybe that's alright?

ben (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 1:39pm

i just want to understand the context of the image used in this post...

Rimmy J (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 1:57pm

He probably just had some dirahhera... whoopie

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 9:08pm

So since it wasn't a "common bug", we know it wasn't a cold. I bet it was either a food-borne virus or Influenza. Either one could lead to weight loss, unlike a cold.

This seems like its less and less about "news" and more about sensationalism. I don't blame Apple for not saying anything - if they do, they'll have to make an announcement each time Jobs goes to visit his doctors.

ben (not verified) | July 26, 2008 - 10:56pm

yes and i would hate for my favorite apple blogs to get any further involved in jobs' personal life. gimme apple news, let's leave the rest up to tmz.

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 27, 2008 - 2:52am

About the picture featured in this article: Does anyone remember the context in which Jobs made that comical pose? I remember it was a comical scene from a keynote speech, but I just can't seem to recall which one or what the topic was. Grrr!

Stephen rose (not verified) | July 28, 2008 - 8:32pm

Macworld 2007. His clicker stopped working so while the crew behind the scenes fixed it- he told a story about how Steve wozniak would get people into weird poses to "fix the TV reception" that wiz was mucking up with a tv jammer hi has in another room.

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 27, 2008 - 5:14am

To headline an article with a crude appellation indicates the deep thought that went into writing it. Steve Jobs did not "screw" the iPhone buyers (or any other buyers). He simply brought out a product that many people wanted. Now some whining, spoiled clowns want to bad mouth him for not giving the product away. No wonder the US has problems with the "Me" generation. PS I am 71 yrs old & just bought an iPhone.

admin | July 27, 2008 - 6:40am

Quincy was only quoting the Times in the headline; congrats on being the oldest person to ever require the fanboy alert.

Dr Noob (not verified) | July 27, 2008 - 5:20am

Steve Jobs underwent curative surgery for his Pancreatic Cancer. That will have involoved removing a good portion of his pancreas as well as maybe cutting out a small portion of bowel and stomach.
The pancreas serves two functions. Firstly it secretes enzymes into the blood like Insulin, needed for tissue uptake of glucose and without which, one gets diabetes.
The other function is to release enzymes into the gut to digest protein and fat. If this is not happening, it is harder to extract all the energy from the food you eat (malabsorbtion). The side effect of this is unpleasant bowel movements. It is possible to take tablet replacement of these enzymes but they are not a perfect remedy.
In people post pancreatic surgery it is common for them to struggle to put on weight or maintain their current weight. This is in part due to malabsorbtion and in part due to complex factors affecting appetite after this surgery.

In short, there are many reasons, aside from cancer, that Steve Jobs maybe on the thin side.

9to5Mac Noob (not verified) | July 27, 2008 - 6:35am

"In the end we're all dead" ... it's 'in the meantime' that counts...

Partners in Grime (not verified) | July 27, 2008 - 3:23pm

He looks pretty flexible to me.

شات (not verified) | January 11, 2009 - 7:47pm